Had a difficult start to tango this week which sent me into a mini depression. At the Practica on Monday I couldnt lead 3 women in a row...not properly...and it got very frustrating because the teacher was trying to work out why and I couldnt understand. The style he is teaching seemed a variant of what I know/am learning. I left feeling very inadequate and downtrodden. Tuesday evenning wasnt much better -I went to my usual class at Salon Canning with Javier and Monica - v good teachers, friendly class but all in spannish and so many beginners - I felt I was not really able to practice what I know as beginners dont know what to do always...so I have to keep it simple - which is ok up to a point. After a rest and dinner I went to Tango Queer - meet M as arranged - had one tanda with the Swede I meet rcently at La Marshall - then M told me he'd been ordered to leave immediately by his ex - who runs virtually the entire queer tango scene here ...lovers hate/jealousy ! But so petty(apparantly they split 18 months ago and are both with other partners now, so I dont see the problem). I did stay but didnt enjoy myself as the dances I had werent very satisfactory - though not my fault .I came away feeling it was all my fault, that I will never get the hang of this or break into the local scene. M is a very good dancer/follower and a real pleasure to dance with and I was looking forward to progressing by having the chance to practice with him twice a week - now it will only possible when he is out of his Almighty ex's range- which is on Sundays at El Monita(the only other milonga where men can dance with other men, though its not a gay milonga)_. Tango can really get to you - make to feel as high as heaven or as low as so you feel almost suicidal when things arent going right. My teacher has been great and offered 'tango counselling' along with the teaching and hopefuly I will overcome all of this tango scene paranoia. Its hard. A friend in London is having similar issues there and I have just been trying to persuade her not to give up. I have to keep on going - tango is like a class A drug - once its taken hold of you, youve had it...!