oh dear oh dear - frustration, frustration!

Have had some further feedback and am even more confused about what I am doing at the beginning of the story. The feedback suggests I tone down the inciting incident/s - but I am really not sure. As today is designated a writing day - I will have to sit down with this dilema - I can see the point of the citicism but not sure I feel its right as it needs to be a powerful enough incident to be believable in triggering what happens to Almir and how this moves the plot forward.

Oh well - I suppose I just have to get on with it - I can always change it when I have finsihed the whole first draft. If I keep dallying over what I ve written so far too much then Ill never get it finished - and I still want to finish it, thats for sure I believe the story is a strong one and the subject matter should exposed in a novel - havent seen it anywhere else and the majority of the feedback has been extremely positive in this regard. I am so sensitive about all this - I think I need to toughen up - be more objective - its just that I feel so closely involved with the characters and the story itself - its so real inside my head - its a difficult process to wade in and chop it about - but I guess thats also a big part of what becomming a good writer is about - not just being able to paint an engaging picture with believable characters(and thats hard enough)... am I still enjoying it? I have to say its a bumpy ride at the moment but I know definately the story is calling me back to the page; I must be an addict or slave to the pen - or deluded!

The clocks have gone forward and I need to move on with this process so definately today is earmarked a writing day to edit atleast my first chapter. I have to submit this to my City Certifcate course anyway before we travel off next weekend to Italy.Would be nice to have more feed back for my lay guniea pig readers - so far only two (out of about 12) have responded with anything,people dont seem to have time and I get feedback from them weeks after I send stuff out , which leaves me frustrated as I want to get feedback I can incorporate and move on asap - W has given hers and says she was gripped and couldnt stop reading the first four chapters but whilst thats encouraging in a motivational way its not in itself helpful with editing. I think though it is important to get lay feed back along the way because I want to know how it reads to non literary professionals/serious people aswell as getting the feedback from serious prune cutters.



BG

progress of sorts

On Tuesday afternoon I spent about a hour at UCLSEESS with a very helpful pErson who answered all my questions about Kovoso/Albanian culture - and more...I digi-taped the interview and have already transcibed notes. One thing I have to do is change Uran/Almir's birthplace as Dragas doe not have any Albanians living there apparently - so I now have him born elsewhere - a detail but its important that its believable. All the names are right though and I now know various slang terms and cultural views on everything from Black people to gays to male masturbation! Also about the school system in the 90's for Ablanians in Kosovo (it was disrupted ans so Almir would not have graduated high school), Pristina and street sweeping in Kosovo(again in the 90's) - the fact that ther wer no supermarkets or satellite Tv back then is import detail that I will use to weave in deatil about Almirs background and current(to the story - so its 2001/2)attitudes and behaviours.Enlightening! If any one out there doubts the importance of back ground research lt me tell you its absolutely in valuable even if one doesnt use all the info gathered because for you as a writer in your head these deatils give flesh to the character/s /story and make them/it really come alive ( in ones head atleast, then hopeful on the page for the reader).

We had a bloody cold call at 245 am which woke H and me up so from no on we are dissconnectioning the phone in the bedroom before we go to bed.

BG

Home tonight

Did another long walk this morning - we had a cooked breakfast after yoga as no food left in the house - then back to do a bit of work work - frustrated by the post office who have not set up mail forwarding for our Company office move as the say i need to sign the forms AGAIN - this despite having spent an entire morning queing and seeing two different counter staff bwho checked and re checked my forms and clearly neither seemed to have much of a clue about what they were doing! Now my computers going a bit mental too! Did manage this w/e to put together my portfolio pieces for the City course assessment. Have to pack now and get something to eat before the cab comes at 7 to take us to the train station at Saxmundham
BG

In Aldeburgh

Did a re write of a short scene on the very crowed train journey up here on Friday and am typing this up this morning whilst H and Co are out for a marsh walk - I'll join them for a waLk over Dunwich Heath for lunch later. The piece is for my portfolio submission to Emily at City next Wednesday. Have secured an extension for the First Chapter submission to the course so i am able to do a complte re write taking into account all the feedabck Ive had from workshops on the course and from a couple of published writers who've read it. Also I am interviewing the guy at UCL SSEES on Tuesday next week to get more Kosovo background material. I want the have this in my head before I atempt the re write.

It's a geogeous morning - doing my yoga practice before breakfast was a pleasure today with the sunshine pouring in through the front bay window and the sound of the birds singing away.

BG

late night musing

had intended to write yesterday but it didnt happen - just got distracted, I think intentionally but seem to be comming back to my writing again with a more positive attitude. Have decided which four pieces Iwill be submitting to Emily for the Term Two assessment portfolio - one will a pice I've yet to complete but have in draft form as two short pieces - Its Roland deciding to take his leave of Almir -"the last straw" - I want to combine this with his recall of their first sex - he sees Almir laying in the bed - out of it totally, then flashbacks - briefly - to their first bedding - I think it will work but we'll see what Emily thinks!
Ive titled this blog entry late night musing - its 7.30 am now but late last night I did re read my first chapter and all the critiques and began to see things more clearly and positvely. I now what I will need to do for my edit and redraft of Chapter one now...will take it to work on over the weekend along with the for short portfolio pieces(we are off to Aldeburgh til Monday)

BG

Spring's here

All our bulbs are shooting up. Yestday I noticed the daffodils lining the tree avenue were out - they'd come to flower over night. Yesterday took my bike in to a servive and to get the handle bars adjusted ; also bought a new suitcase in prep for Italy from Bakers Arms. The shop keeper didnt have a ccard machine so I paid cash but didnt have enough so I owe him another 40 which Ill frop in when I pick up my bike today. Every time Im out locally(Leyton/Bakers Arms) and need the toilet I have to go into one of the many greasy spoons and the always have a big notice displayed as you enter"TOILETS FOR CUSTOMERS ONLY" so I have to buy a bottle of water and by the time I get home I eed to pee again!Almir must have to do the same - peeing frequently is a sign of anxiety or medication side effect - maybe I CAN INTRODUE THIS TOO Almirs charcterisation on his Beat - needing to use the toilet.

BG

Questions- I need info in response to...

Questions
• What particular English words/sounds do Albanian Kosovars find difficult and how would they mis pronounce these(like Germans can’t pronounce F or Th or W for example)? (my character was born in 1980 and is of Muslim background – I’ve called him Uran Nicaj

• Are there any popular catch phrases within the culture (eg used for greetings or just things people often say/little philosophical statements)?

• What are the popular terms for Granma and granddad – translated into English?

• What things do Albanian Kosovars who’ve lived in the UK for a while tend to miss about Kosovo(the good and the bad) eg food/TV soap/radio/pop group/beer or cigarette brands/countryside/special cultural events and they way they are celebrated?

• Slang – what are the Albanian Kosovar English translations for slang terms for - black people, gay people, sexually predatory women, career driven young professional woman, male masturbation and what are the prevailing attitudes within the culture to all of these?

• What are the following places like: Pristina, Mitrovica and Dragas ( /landscape/weather/pollution/houses/land marks/people – do they speak with any special dialect/accent?/how were these places affected by the Kosovo conflict of the late 1990’s(just significant events that would be memorable to the people living there)?
• What is the climate like in Kosovo?
• What is the currency?

• What are/do you think would be the immediate significant impressions of a young 22 year old male Albanian Kosovar arriving in London for the first time as an immigrant circa 2002?

IF ANYONE OUT THERE HAS ANY INFORMATION ABOUT THESE ISSUES DO POST AS COMMENT/S
Cheers All!

BG